Saturday, July 19, 2014

What an Idea Sir ji!

Disclaimer: This post is longer than I usually care to write but you better not leave midway!
So you wake up at seven (which I personally think is the best time to wake up- not too early, not too late), to a hot steaming cup of green tea and wonderful weather outside. You have a hint of a smile on you and you like it (How often does it happen to you after all?)
Not wanting to step out of the bed, you stretch your moments of bliss as much as you possibly can – silently repeating in your head  your new ‘not so secret’ vow to live life to the fullest.
Wow! Happiness is just a state of mind after all. I guess they were right. Look at me. So happy!
And then you make the ultimate mistake. You reach out for your phone.
And the first and by the way the only message you see on it is from airtel people, tempting you to talk to Ms Leone. And the true blue Piscean that you are – you imagine yourself giving her a call. What would you say to her, if at all you talk to her?

‘Hi babe, I hear you are hosting Splitsvilla these days?’
‘Wow! Don’t tell me you actually wasted a moment thinking about it. Some life you have!’ Enough of reminiscing  get to work,'- It was time the true blue Meena Kumari in me was up.

Because only thing worse than getting a Sunny Leone message is - you know? getting that advertisement on your sidebar – Are you single? Don’t wait anymore. Find hot dates in your neighbourhood.

Now you wonder, why the fcuk were you so jubilant about yourself last night?
That’s it. Last night’s Sangria is out of your system and it’s time you took the ‘I HEART LIFE’ sticker off your fcuking forehead.

Last night I was out with a friend whose company I really really cherish.  Reason being she is a lot like me.You know she is not like me-like me per say (she is Hawt) but she is like me in the matters of love – i.e, unlucky ;-)

Okay ‘truth’ apart, there are two categories of girls.
One is who meet someone nice, fall in love in like a day or something and have cute babies.
Lol and then there is this other category (we are a limited few) We have no strong feelings towards love as such but we sure do love to chase the sweet illusions of love.
And boy! Do we love that chase? I think we love it more than love itself.
We like not knowing.
We get accused of not knowing even when true love bites us in the behind.
We get blamed for making the wrong choices.

Anyway I guess I should come to the point. 
So part reason why we ended up meeting yesterday was because I am leaving town in a bit, for a bit and part reason was that she had apparently found the love of her life and it was time we ripped open the wraps on this one. You know dissecting the boyfriend inch by inch.

‘Okay so dinner it is, I can’t wait to see you,’ she gushed and hung up.

‘Urghhh.. not her too,’ I looked up for my whiny make belief one on one with God.

‘You know you’d love him. He doesn’t even facebook or watsapp, for crying out loud. He calls - Like a real man - sooooo old school. He does not know any other way. That tipsy turvy feeling of love – I have it like all the time. Every time he calls, I have butterflies somersaulting all the way from my tummy to my small intestine. ’ We hadn’t even heard the specials yet and here was my newly in love friend, making me hear every little detail of the new lad in town.
‘What does he do?’

‘You mean besides making my world go whroooom?’

‘Very funny,’ I rolled my eyes.

‘He is a lawyer.’

‘I thought you hated lawyers.’

‘Yeah, that was until I found him. Which reminds me you should hear him speak. You’ll fall for that voice, five seconds flat.’

‘I am sure I will,’ I managed a forced smile, ‘Good looking?’

‘Hmmm not bad,’ she gave it a thought, ‘but I don’t think it’s his voice or his looks or even his profession that counts?’

‘Then what does?’

‘It’s something beyond the obvious.. and I mean it. When we talk, I feel things which we only read about in novels and see in the movies - we dont just talk - we connect.’

‘Okay so how long have you been dating?’ I tried cutting her short. I mean she was a close friend alright but there was no need for her to rub her amazing love life in her pathetically single friend’s face.

‘Oh! No, we are not dating. In fact we have not even met. Not even had a cup of coffee together,’ she replied somewhat dismissively.

‘Oh! You have not,’ I absorbed the rather significant piece of information which I don’t know why she had forgotten to mention so far. ‘Well, then tell me one thing girlfriend, What the fcuk are we doing discussing a make-belief boyfriend?’

‘Oh no, he exists alright. He is just not my boyfriend,’ she said tossing a free salted peanut in her mouth.’

‘And why is that so?’

‘Well for two reasons. One I don’t think he is quite there yet. I mean we flirt back and forth but I suppose he is too chicken or uninterested whatever it is of the two, to start something real. And two, even if we were to start something with this ‘luke warm sentiment’ I am not sure it'd go too far.’

‘And yet you seem surprisingly upbeat about it?’ I had to ask.

‘Yes, because I have it all figured out.’

‘Do care to share,’ I prodded.

‘Well, see who knows if or when we get there? And even if we do get there, chances are that we’d fuck it up.’


‘But you know what can never be fucked up?’


‘It’s the idea of him. See mind numbingly appealing as he is, he is bound to be flawed ---- THEY ALL ARE --- and if I keep flirting with the idea of him, I may never find out those flaws.  And you know what I have realized it’s the idea of him being so utterly perfect that excites me more than the guy himself. Now that’s romantic, isn’t it?’

‘That’s fucked up, that’s what it is.’ I replied, a little happy inside, that not another one of my single girlfriends is getting whisked away.

‘Come on you know what I am talking. How often do we meet a great guy?’

‘Not that often,’ I replied rather quickly, not wanting to think about my life at all. All I ever run into is .... well, a topic for another day.

‘Like a clean loo at the ISBT - it's a rare find,' she stated in a very matter-of-factly way, 'So what do you do when you find one?' She paused for a second, as if she wanted me to answer it for her.. Looked disappointed at my apparent lack of interest and continued, 'tch... you either date him and wait for him to become one of the regular ordinary run of the mill annoying  jackass, or, you preserve the idea of him forever.’

‘Kind of like deep frozen peas?’



‘No seriously, like this you can enjoy, you can be tingly and be dazzled by this amazing man that no one else knows of. He can make your toes curl, just by a phone call and no one get's hurt. A total win win.' She shrugged as if she had found the ultimate way to salvation.

‘Is it possible that it is just infatuation on your part?’

‘Infatuation, my ass! I get infatuated by puppies. This is definitely something real. It’s just that am not gonna act on it.’

That said and she was genuinely back to being herself, the fun sorted girl that I have always known.

Which made me wonder as to how mechanical we have become in relationships today. This new found ability of not letting anything put us down. Not wanting to run away from real emotions but at the same time being so ruthlessly practical, that if we can’t have him, we are more than okay with just the ‘idea of him’.
Because, rightly enough, no one can ever spoil that idea for us!

But in our bid to run away from hurt and grief, how unreal are we willing to be?

Harmless flirting with a guy we like - so that we get through the day at least - is this what today's relationships have stooped down to?
First we never meet some one who makes us feel like what we want to be felt like,
and even if miraculously enough, we find that someone, It's most certainly with a lot of baggage,
And no one today wants to lug around someone else's crap, especially when we got so much of our own.

So what are the odds of meeting someone where a relationship can slip beyond the superficial.
Where there is no bullshit, where we can cut it out, get real and be like that without the fear of having committed a blunder, yet again.

Damn I could go on .....

P.S. I am not usually this corny ;-) But the post called for it.


Anonymous said...

Amazing..just griped me..I realised at d end of it..dat I didnt even thot of leaving it midway (kidding? )..loved it..cud see it being played in my mind as I read it.

Stutee Nag said...

Dear Anonnymous - Please never be anonymous :-( and thank you nevertheless

Mohana said...

This has to be one of my favorite posts so far :D

Stutee Nag said...

Ting ting ti ting :-)

Anonymous said...

I may not be smart, but loneliness does this!

Rehaan said...

Heyy , how are you ?
Nice post

M. Monk said...

Fascinating Post Stutee.
One could almost substitute a man/woman in this post with babies and it would still be coherent. They are great to play with at times, but a lot of work most of the time.

Travel sometimes opens up possibilities and paths you probably didn't think you would ever venture through and maybe, just maybe you'd find what you are looking for.
Just my 2 cents. I am contractually obligated as a monk to offer unsolicited and usually useless advice :D