Saturday, May 23, 2015

So my book sucks!

So this woman I know, sends me a heavy duty message telling me that she doesn't like my book.
And I am like, ''Me too sista! I am with you on this. Up top.''
I mean why the hell am I not promoting it in the first place?
COZ I GENUINELY BELIEVE THAT I SHOULD NOT BE INFLICTING THIS TORTURE ON HUMANS OF CHANDIGARH and the rest. (only exception here are my poor friends, who had to pay the price of being my friends and they are not complaining - well atleast not to my face. DEAR GOD, I HOPE I HAVE NOT PROVIDED THEM WITH A PLATFORM HERE (BITES NAILS))

Jokes aside..
I should have done a better job.
No questions asked.
But at the same time I am unapologetic as shit.
I tried - I failed - and true to my character, I wil l try again - and will fail - AGAIN- GRANTED.

But no way in hell am I tendering apologies.
You wanna get back at me.. Write an even shittier book and hope that I read it ;-)
Good day!



PS - The link to my book is on top of the page.


Monday, May 11, 2015

To All India Bakchods



AIB's (mis)take on arranged marriage

To AIB, With Love (or whatever is the next best emotion)


Okay so very nice video..

Very nice ghisey pittey cliched punches, very nice samosa and very nice dadi ma.

Quick question though...

What did it have to do with an arranged marriage?

This kind of ridiculous shit goes down in almost every second marriage (Arranged or otherwise).

And I say 'second' because be it an arranged or a love marriage there still are people who opt for sanity - and manage to form a bond, everlasting - without making a farce of an otherwise beautiful ceremony.

And trust me, their number is not so small that you can so easily choose to overlook them.

So why just make arranged marriage alone a target?
Oh! Wait. Let me guess. Because it's 'cooler' to ridicule the tradition.. Isn't it?
Because how else will you get those pre-teen nerds to hit like and make you popular, if not by making fun of something they don't anyway understand.

And the sorry little part of your video that actually does somewhat still strives to focus on the concept of an arranged marriage. Well it couldn't have been more exaggerated and fucked up?

You actually think every arranged marriage begins with a girl dressed up like a junior artist from the sets of Chameli walking in with a tray of samosas?
Or is it because (to quote from your own video) ''BOLLYWOOD SAYS SO"

And while we are at it - the sooner you get out of your Dil. Chahta Hai mode - the better off you are. Because the whole 'go show him your room' charade was so fucking passe and far from reality that you should be calling yourself All India Balaji from now on..

Ever heard of Bistros, Lounges or coffeehouses.. That's where some people are going these days, I hear. The girl's room is like so very seventy's.. Should have done some research you guys.

And sorry to burst your silly little bubble but no sane mother on the entire Indian subcontinent would  secretly wish to whore her daughters out, be it to the world's most eligible bachelor,  far less an 'MBA'. You have got her all wrong, the mother.

And what world are you living in if you think that girl's qualification doesn't matter? Have you people become so like-hungry that you have started cashing in on such stuff too. Today when the government and people are working side by side to promote girl child.. You should be ashamed of your selves making fun of sensitive issues such as her education and the fact that she is addressed as a 'liability'. Sorry guys not funny.. Just plain irresponsible of you.

Through the whole AIB roast controversy I stood by your side and the fact that no matter what every body had a right to freedom of expression.. But not anymore.. You just lost a fan..

Well I could have gone on but I. guess I have made my point.  And if you didn't get it by now - you probably won't.

So guys next time you set out to ridicule something you don't quite understand, DONT DO IT.
Because there's funny and there's trying very hard to be funny-- Big difference.
You people are affecting masses here.. Show some responsibility.

Because in this day and age it's very easy to fall in love over the internet and force your decision down your parents throats in the name of love marriage - what takes real mettle - is to make your parents a part of this important decision of your life... And it's not bad at all.

With love,
An erstwhile fan.