Saturday, August 9, 2014

Hey Sista! Up taaap!

I am woman, hear me roar,
In numbers too big to ignore.
I maybe lost but I am alert
So better watch it you pervert.
I only choose to ignore
But I can pin you to the floor.
I am woman, hear me roar,
In numbers too big to ignore.

I go running and you stare,
Go eat shit for all I care.
Making passes at me, do you even have a pair?
Don't bother to answer, just get the fuck out of my hair
I am woman, hear me roar,
In numbers too big to ignore.

At work, I need my space,
Not you gawking at my face.
So better cut down on your chase,
Prepare to keep pace or else lose in this race.
Coz I am here and I am there,
And I know you are well aware.
I don’t fear the dark
And all you know is to bark
But I am woman, hear me roar,
In numbers too big to ignore.

Shampoo & Conditioner apply ***

I am probably the only person I know, who has fun through the week and sits home on the weekends.

Grumpy as hell, I reach my office almost on time (terms and conditions apply), bumping into some and closely escaping many many lawyers (trust me early morning we all look like penguins gone mad).

I am usually on an empty stomach because surprise surprise  I only woke up half an hour before ten (thanks to the unplanned karaoke the night before) and all I could squeeze in, in those thirty precious minutes is a quick shower and a ride to the Court. Just as I take my seat, my friend C states the much obvious fact – "YOU ARE LATE."

'Here's twenty five things you didn't know about costumes of Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya' she flashes the post under my nose.
'I will book you for contempt of Court, trust me, I am not joking.'
'Wow! You are really a morning person. Can't tell you what a treat it is to chat you up in the morning.'
‘I am hungry,’ I whine. 
'We’ll go eat during the tea break,' she gives me the much needed himmat.
This is my standard set routine, almost every day - except for that one odd day when I sleep on time. You know? The day I decide to be a game changer. The day which never lasts even a full blown twenty four hours. The day when no matter how much I hate doing it  - I miraculously convince myself that I am meant to sleep on time.

Anyway, back to my weekly schedule - so I have a sad and a very questionable sandwich at eleven - and a cappuccino with a  K ;-)  - which sums up my brunch and is not even strong enough to wake up Grumpy, the dwarf' let alone me.

Somehow I get through the day and by evening manage to drag my half dead posterior home.
Because I am highly sleep deprived not because I work so hard.
Only to have another evening of unplanned fun and repeat the same routine the next day.

And bam! Before I know, it’s the damned weekend again. And suddenly, through no conscious efforts, I am sleeping on time, waking up on time, cooking my own food, writing blogposts and also working out properly – and all this while I am as chirpy as a cheeky little bird. Which is all very very good – except that shouldn’t it be the other way round?
Shouldn’t I be up and about through the week and a little lazed out on the weekends?

But then irony is the flavor of my life...

I fall for the wrong guy AND friendzone the right one.

A strict vegetarian my whole life I end up eating chicken wai wai by accident on a Tuesday (that too during navratras).
I rarely ever get a crush but when I do I make sure that it's so very highly impractical that in front of him even prince Harry will look more attainable.
I crack the entrance with a promising rank and then manage myself a semester back.

I yearn good company and yet am mostly alone.
For all the big talk that I do - I believe an arranged marriage is the best thing that can happen to anyone.

You see my point.. right?
Well what would be my life, if not upside down, eh?