Thursday, April 24, 2014

Feeling Modi-vated

On one side is a one ‘night’ wonder
His cough louder than thunder
Aimless tusker out on plunder
Not a mistake but actually our blunder

On the other hand is Mr Modi

And that munna fresh out of momma’s godi
Pomp show and a huge campaign
Good on looks but a little less brain

Diehard Modi fan? No, I am not
But it’s my best bet and that’s all I got

No balatkar, No bharastachar
Let’s cut down on the attyachar
So do all your soch-vichaar
Clich├ęd - yes, it is
But ab ki baar modi sarkaar

Stand up and do what’s right
Fight the evil with all your might
It’s time you make a wise decision
Hit that button with care and precision

UPA is dead and outdated
Hell yeah! I feel Modi-vated.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Shit just got shittier, and then it turned serious brow

20000000 definitions of happiness and yet no one is happy… Happiness is this…. Happiness is that – I’ll tell you what happiness is it is my dog’s spiral shaped poop, that’s what it is.

Good evening friends, happy Wednesday evening? Yes, I just read this status two seconds ago.

Twenty reasons why you should date a Bengali, Tamilian, Punjabi girl? What are you kissing ass regionally now? Like oh no! India has a thrillion people, quick find a way to sub categorize them and then kiss ass at break neck speed. Besides shouldn’t the post read Why a Bengali/Tamilian/Punjabi girl should date you? Since when did you have the luxury to form categories and then choose accordingly… It’s not for you to decide which girl to go with! Lol! Count your blessings (that at least some girl said yes) and move on. Aaye bade penning reasons to date girls.

The constant never ending IPL updates? When I learnt IPL is not taking place in India, I felt like I finally had something going in the year 2014. Like a reason to smile or something. What the fuck did I know about this constant torture on my fb?

Those statuses rebuking players like they grew up playing unch neech ka papda with you in your backyard… (Take it easy buddy! Messi (Yuvi) fucked up, it’s okay the lad had his focus wrong. Sometimes shit happens. Chill!)

Oooh and the latest photo shoots! We know you just got married - the testosterone is high and while you may give Brangelina a run for their money (God knows you are pros) you may want to consider not overdoing it.

That picture of you which you are passing off as a natural shot.. pretending like you had no clue that it was being clicked. (Lol! You are fooling nobody.) I mean, how absented minded do you have to be to not know that your picture was getting clicked. For otherwise it should be looking like those sting videos,, blurry, hazy and unascertainable. Not like the Nat Geo fucking covershot of the month.

Really deep, meaningful, observational, advisory, well meaning, life altering shit that puts me to sleep in an instant– I’d friend Paulo Coehlo if I was looking for that.

The virtual political vendetta (ye nya laaye hain is saal) Sometimes statuses get so heated up that I feel someone somewhere is just seconds short of firing an imaginary gun.

Savita dreamer traveller Sharma … Why? Why? Why? Normal Savita Sharma pe log pathar marenge kya?

wHY dOyoU hAvE tO wRItE sTatUsEs lIKe tHIs? I donOt uNdErstAND :-I

It’s okay you can check in at an airport - Sorry, ✈port (apparently people won’t know it’s a plane that lands at the airport until we draw it) So am just playing by the rules. Anyway, so where was I? Yes, last I checked it was totally legal to check in at an airport and not check in on facebook simultaneously. You are rich, you travel by planes, We get it. Just tell us when you reach there,, everything else is kinda self explanatory. I mean spain ab auto me to jaoge nahi? All we wish for is a happy stay for you, not really interested in knowing how you got there!

And what the fuck is this feeling blessed shit. I don't see a white disk doing rounds on my head every time I am feeling blessed.

and not just that every feeling has an icon.. I mean, how dare you feel happy any other way than how facebook taught you?

Feeeeling bakch**ed