tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8018609100171458012024-03-13T00:47:53.994-07:00Stu(art)DISCLAIMER : - All names, characters and incidents mentioned here are fictitious. So, any resemblance to your dhobi or his dog (dead or alive) is a big fat coincidence. Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-51662776611949893162015-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:002015-09-10T11:00:22.868-07:00M(Eat) Pray Love (Do whatever the f@*k)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Am I hearing this right? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Is the Government really telling me what or what not to eat?
I mean, are we still a functioning democracy? I don’t know exactly but last I
checked my fundamental rights were still not extinct.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And all this from a person who has never had an <i>anda </i>her entire life. Yes, that’s
right. Gape all you want but a strict
vegetarian is standing right up against this absurd ban. Because this is not
about an ‘<i>anda’ </i>or even a ‘<i>murgi’ </i>per se. This is about my FREEDOM
OF CHOICE. These three words I wish to use more cautiously than any others for
the fear that they have been toyed around with for so long that, unfortunately
enough, they seem to have lost their essence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today as an ‘<i>uchh koti
ka brahmin’ </i>I can easily choose to
keep shut and look the other way because the government is favoring my set of
beliefs. (I too feel strongly against people eating meat – and by meat I mean
any kind of meat – NOT JUST COWS. If you ask me, no animal should be
slaughtered. Ever!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Famous Russian thinker Leo Tolstoy once said and I quote, “A
man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore if he
eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his
appetite. And to act so is immoral.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">AGAIN IMMORAL – NOT ILLEGAL.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Big difference, sitting right there on that tiny little
hyphen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Because what is illegal for me is also illegal for my
neighbor or his <i>dhobi. </i>But what I
consider to be immoral might as well be a most respected custom in my neighbor’s
house, situated right next to mine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Welcome to a metropolitan society!</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZMVux0lFvXk/VfG2C0eQl3I/AAAAAAAABh4/cNyVOqaQkHE/s1600/c02c8bdc3be6eccc5a6b5fcfe80b7b99.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZMVux0lFvXk/VfG2C0eQl3I/AAAAAAAABh4/cNyVOqaQkHE/s400/c02c8bdc3be6eccc5a6b5fcfe80b7b99.jpg" width="323" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Image credit:<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/438749188670592822/">https://www.pinterest.com/pin/438749188670592822/</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So to expect, (or much worse, to support) the government in
such crazy endeavors, so as to blow the trumpet against people eating meat is
not only out rightly stupid but also giving it unnecessary control over my
personal life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For what if tomorrow comes a government which wants me to
only eat meat? If I’d want to open my mouth and rebel then, I better rebel now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Granted that with our much loved Freedom of choice also come
certain responsibilities towards the society but I fail to understand that how
exactly is what-I-choose-to-eat interfering with anybody else’s business. What
I choose to do within the privacy of my home should in no way be subjected to
governmental scrutiny. Because this is exactly how it begins – the taking
charge of our lives by the very people we chose to serve us – NOT RULE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Is anybody else not finding it hard to digest (pun intended)
that why suddenly is it upon the Government to decide my menu at home? And why
is the government not bothered about the issues that it should actually be taking
up? And how easily is the government able to distract us citizens by waving
it’s <i>chunchuna </i>of meaningless issues,
almost every second day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, last but the most unfortunate queries of all, Why do we
Indians never know, what exactly to be pissed about?</span></div>
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-12188725154722775692015-05-23T03:39:00.000-07:002015-09-23T23:14:52.546-07:00So my book sucks!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So this woman I know, sends me a heavy duty message telling me that she doesn't like my book.<br />
And I am like, ''Me too sista! I am with you on this. Up top.''<br />
I mean why the hell am I not promoting it in the first place?<br />
COZ I GENUINELY BELIEVE THAT I SHOULD NOT BE INFLICTING THIS TORTURE ON HUMANS OF CHANDIGARH and the rest. (only exception here are my poor friends, who had to pay the price of being my friends and they are not complaining - well atleast not to my face. DEAR GOD, I HOPE I HAVE NOT PROVIDED THEM WITH A PLATFORM HERE (BITES NAILS))<br />
<br />
Jokes aside..<br />
I should have done a better job.<br />
No questions asked.<br />
But at the same time I am unapologetic as shit.<br />
I tried - I failed - and true to my character, I wil l try again - and will fail - AGAIN- GRANTED.<br />
<br />
But no way in hell am I tendering apologies.<br />
You wanna get back at me.. Write an even shittier book and hope that I read it ;-)<br />
Good day!<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ex3uhh8uCQI/VWBYf9nmR2I/AAAAAAAABgg/1fjKALsa_Sk/s1600/Screenshot_2014-12-23-18-24-56.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ex3uhh8uCQI/VWBYf9nmR2I/AAAAAAAABgg/1fjKALsa_Sk/s320/Screenshot_2014-12-23-18-24-56.png" width="180" /></a></div>
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PS - The link to my book is on top of the page.<br />
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-47635676226375458792015-05-11T15:14:00.001-07:002015-09-23T23:15:24.317-07:00To All India Bakchods<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.scoopwhoop.com/humor/rishta-means-ke/?ref=social&type=fb&b=0" target="_blank">AIB's (mis)take on arranged marriage</a><br />
<br />
To AIB, With Love (or whatever is the next best emotion)<br />
<br />
<br />
Okay so very nice video..<br />
<br />
Very nice ghisey pittey cliched punches, very nice samosa and very nice dadi ma.<br />
<br />
Quick question though...<br />
<br />
What did it have to do with an arranged marriage?<br />
<br />
This kind of ridiculous shit goes down in almost every second marriage (Arranged or otherwise).<br />
<br />
And I say 'second' because be it an arranged or a love marriage there still are people who opt for sanity - and manage to form a bond, everlasting - without making a farce of an otherwise beautiful ceremony.<br />
<br />
And trust me, their number is not so small that you can so easily choose to overlook them.<br />
<br />
So why just make arranged marriage alone a target?<br />
Oh! Wait. Let me guess. Because it's 'cooler' to ridicule the tradition.. Isn't it?<br />
Because how else will you get those pre-teen nerds to hit like and make you popular, if not by making fun of something they don't anyway understand.<br />
<br />
And the sorry little part of your video that actually does somewhat still strives to focus on the concept of an arranged marriage. Well it couldn't have been more exaggerated and fucked up?<br />
<br />
You actually think every arranged marriage begins with a girl dressed up like a junior artist from the sets of Chameli walking in with a tray of samosas?<br />
Or is it because (to quote from your own video) ''BOLLYWOOD SAYS SO"<br />
<br />
And while we are at it - the sooner you get out of your Dil. Chahta Hai mode - the better off you are. Because the whole 'go show him your room' charade was so fucking passe and far from reality that you should be calling yourself All India Balaji from now on..<br />
<br />
Ever heard of Bistros, Lounges or coffeehouses.. That's where some people are going these days, I hear. The girl's room is like so very seventy's.. Should have done some research you guys.<br />
<br />
And sorry to burst your silly little bubble but no sane mother on the entire Indian subcontinent would secretly wish to whore her daughters out, be it to the world's most eligible bachelor, far less an 'MBA'. You have got her all wrong, the mother.<br />
<br />
And what world are you living in if you think that girl's qualification doesn't matter? Have you people become so like-hungry that you have started cashing in on such stuff too. Today when the government and people are working side by side to promote girl child.. You should be ashamed of your selves making fun of sensitive issues such as her education and the fact that she is addressed as a 'liability'. Sorry guys not funny.. Just plain irresponsible of you.<br />
<br />
Through the whole AIB roast controversy I stood by your side and the fact that no matter what every body had a right to freedom of expression.. But not anymore.. You just lost a fan..<br />
<br />
Well I could have gone on but I. guess I have made my point. And if you didn't get it by now - you probably won't.<br />
<br />
So guys next time you set out to ridicule something you don't quite understand, DONT DO IT.<br />
Because there's funny and there's trying very hard to be funny-- Big difference.<br />
You people are affecting masses here.. Show some responsibility.<br />
<br />
Because in this day and age it's very easy to fall in love over the internet and force your decision down your parents throats in the name of love marriage - what takes real mettle - is to make your parents a part of this important decision of your life... And it's not bad at all.<br />
<br />
With love,<br />
An erstwhile fan.</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-43188736122654784702015-03-31T12:28:00.001-07:002015-03-31T12:33:43.280-07:00The Reluctant 'feminist'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">To bend the rules of feminism, as per my convenience - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To have the audacity of hope to get out of a traffic challan with a
lame smile and a corny 'sorry bhaiya' and then to wage a war against
'inequality' - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To be stupid enough to take (or star in)
a Kelloggs two week challange and then to voice 'concern' about women
all size - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To hop to the
tunes of a woman practically begging her man to take her shopping cause
she has white arms and then coming back home to rant about women rights
- MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To post about a hundred selfies a day and to be dumb enough to think that I get feminism - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To expect to be taken care of in every slightly hasseling situation by
my boyfriend, brother or father and then to lull myself into believing
that I have a semblance of a sense of equality in me - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To bitch my mouth bloody about girls (most of them my friends) for being
loose and immoral and then to blow the trumpet on my sexual freedom -
MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To jump like a demented cow at the idea of a 'ladies night' and then to quote equality as my middle name - MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To expect a man to be courteous to me not by his own choice but by
default because that suits me just fine and then to proudly hope that he
sees me no different than a man- MY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To take pride in my
fucked up notions of feminism, liberty and equality and to actually
mistake myself for a feminist - MY BLOODY CHOICE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B-Cmhtokcp8/VRr0zGsU1dI/AAAAAAAABgE/7cNqxPS1WDg/s1600/anigif_enhanced-1315-1410394673-4.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B-Cmhtokcp8/VRr0zGsU1dI/AAAAAAAABgE/7cNqxPS1WDg/s1600/anigif_enhanced-1315-1410394673-4.gif" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> Fuck being the confused 'feminist'.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">BE AN EQUALIST</span></b></span><br />
<br />
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-13840969140423419942015-02-16T13:25:00.001-08:002015-02-16T14:38:09.992-08:00Salesgirl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Twinkle
Khanna’s <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>recent blog on our double
standards on tolerance actually got me thinking. She said what she said and
while it was one of the most sensible things I have read in last couple of days
but there remains a fact if not for her 10 X 10 picture accompanying the
article, would the blog have been equally viral? How I wish the answer was Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I liked her
blog so much that I shared it instantly but as soon as I put the post on my
timeline, I knew something <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about it was irking
me and it was that picture - over and above the post. And then I realized my
mistake. I had shared it<a href="http://www.indiatimes.com/entertainment/this-twinkle-khanna-column-is-breaking-the-internet-today-230279.html" target="_blank"> from the wrong place</a>, where the editor (or whoever
runs the show) had thought it necessary to put a picture that size to make
readers want to read it, as if without a pretty picture suddenly her words
would lose essence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Needless to
say I rectified my mistake and found <a href="http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/author/twinklekhanna/" target="_blank">the right link</a> soon but this got me
thinking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You know I
have been facing somewhat of a similar situation but on a very very teeeeeny
tiny scale.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ever since
my book got out, I have been getting calls for interviews and online write ups
on me. Yes, that’s right ‘on me’ and not so much on the book. Which, I’ll be
honest, is really bugging. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because
whether or not you have my three pictures tagged along with that darned
interview it will still be an interview but nope, nothing doing, nobody is
interested in that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ya, ya, you
have written a book, good for you. What else you got?’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Send us some
six pictures to attach with your meaningless words and be done with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Which brings
me to the bone of contention (you know I hardly would blog if there was no
bone) which is – Jury is out whether I can even dare to call myself a writer but
what I know for a fact is that I am most definitely not a salesgirl and I am
not even gloating about it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Infact it’s a quality I wish I had but nada.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And to be completely honest, it’s not that I
did not try. But a week of promoting my own work and it was enough to jolt me
back into the reality – LET THE READERS DECIDE.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--6Jjf2k0w5o/VOJwIxv-QeI/AAAAAAAABfg/FGTBXgo5xds/s1600/original20.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--6Jjf2k0w5o/VOJwIxv-QeI/AAAAAAAABfg/FGTBXgo5xds/s1600/original20.gif" height="313" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My friend A,
in a very matter of factly way foretold me this even before I was about to
embark on my little sales adventure - that the moment you submitted your book
for print – that was it- your job was done. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Give it a
rest now,’ he had said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But me being
me, true to my character, did not grasp the hidden genius in his well meaning advice
right away. I did my bit (which if you ask the people back at my publication
house is just the tip of an iceberg) but still I did some promotion at least.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But it had
not even been three days and there I was totally siding with A on this, against
my own interest (if you want to look at it in a very day to day manner.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What was I
afraid of? If the book was good, it’d sell. If not what could I do anyway?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So much so
that I wouldn’t even say that I was even torn between A’s wisdom and my ambitious
sales record.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Verdict
was out – I CANT SELL.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just can’t.
I mean to silently dare to dream that your novel is well received is one thing
but to go on with the self promotion and self praise, I think it’s downright
demeaning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Forget
hardcore PR, I can’t even bring myself to do a facebook advertisement. And why
should I? I know it’s out there, I know there are people who will somehow bump
into my little baby and if they find it intriguing enough they’d probably say
hi. Okay I think I went a bit overboard with the metaphor here but the point is
why not trust the readers or to be more precise the netizens?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Every now and then we do tumble into stuff which we really like and share. And who knows one such day some of you find your way to my book and I go something like this...</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qffEv-HC_GE/VOJvGu-M-7I/AAAAAAAABfY/ujDQtLLOIeg/s1600/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qffEv-HC_GE/VOJvGu-M-7I/AAAAAAAABfY/ujDQtLLOIeg/s1600/giphy.gif" height="438" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So here’s
hoping!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-473003937599081812014-08-28T12:44:00.002-07:002015-09-23T23:15:57.689-07:00Dude, I am not your bro!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I hate the fact that I am the girl who ‘understands’ him,
while some other girl gets to marry him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I hate being that cool friend, you know, who is one of the
guys only – but maybe just not cool enough to be anything more than that. Sitting
in my living room as I go through every little detail of his recent escapades
and womanly endeavors over the phone, I secretly hope that he sees what he is
missing –that how good we could have had it together. That he wasn’t so fucking
blind.. or maybe, so fucking chicken ;-) That he realizes that time is running
out. That I am not 21 anymore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘You know you are something else only,’ when he casually slips
in a compliment, during one of our never ending conversations – I bloody gush
like a teenager and mull over it for hours. What does it mean? Does he subconsciously
love me? Maybe he does, he just needs to realize it. And then suddenly I have ‘yuck’
written all over me. I am Kajol from
Kuch kuch hota hai – who only gets a mercy wedding because Rani Mukherjee fucking
dies. SERIOUSLY, YUCK YUCK YUCK. Have I sunk that low really?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">And then I decide to end it once and for all, I go out, have
fun and try not to think about it. But apparently, that also is not supposed to
ease the pain. Because he still needs someone to listen to his
endless tales, and in turn pander to the ‘ego’ he doesn’t know he has and who
better than a girl, who he can talk about anything to. Because she doesn’t
pretend – calls a spade a spade- and lives by her own rules. In short a girl
who is one of the guys. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8yZzNbPRZVk/U_-Gehaq5gI/AAAAAAAABeY/e_ppdHzV_p8/s1600/tumblr_mw2ckf4RwP1qdvraco1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8yZzNbPRZVk/U_-Gehaq5gI/AAAAAAAABeY/e_ppdHzV_p8/s1600/tumblr_mw2ckf4RwP1qdvraco1_500.gif" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But how on earth am I
to put it across the table that I want a romance not a fucking bromance. Cause
dude, I am not your damn wingman. I am as much entitled to emotions and feeling
as any one of your ‘trophy’ girl friends, or, the wife dear mummy ji is going to approve of. And
while that may not be your problem, but you sure can do one thing… CHOOSE A
SIDE, and then stick to it. Because I am
sick and tired of being ‘something else’. For once in my life, I want to be a
typical typical girl, who gets the best of both worlds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘I am going out tonight.’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘With who?’ pat comes the reply.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘This friend, you don’t really know him,’ I reply, playing
it as casually as I possibly can (God knows I have a bloody predictable voice
and a face).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Guy friend?’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Yes a guy friend. Why? Is that an issue,’ I ask, dearly
hoping for a hint of jealousy somewhere.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘No, no, are you mad? You have my blessings,’ the assole
grins, ripping apart any possible hopes of a fairy tale ending between us ;-)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But, get this, you pig – I don’t need your blessings. All I
need from you is for you to walk out of your stupid oblivion for once, where
you stay so blissfully unaware of people around you and their feelings. And if
that is too damned difficult for you to do, then just take a hike. So long. I
have no time, emotions or fight left to invest in you. Because you know I am
done secretly laughing at some girl you are with – because she reads classics
like ‘how to sound cool n classy’. I am done being a confession box to you. I
am done being your radio. But most
importantly, I am done pretending. Move on and leave me alone seriously! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Because, all said and done, I am still only the girl who ‘gets’
you and yet doesn’t get to get you.</span></div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-60574516046766370842014-08-09T10:35:00.000-07:002015-09-23T23:16:30.181-07:00Hey Sista! Up taaap!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am woman, hear me roar,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I maybe lost but I am alert</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I can pin you to the floor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am woman, hear me roar,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In numbers too big to ignore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Making passes at me, do you even have a pair?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't bother to answer, just get the fuck out of my hair</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am woman, hear me roar,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In numbers too big to ignore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Coz I am here and I am there,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And all you know is to bark</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But I am woman, hear me roar,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">In numbers too big to ignore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-68247074166707315932014-08-09T02:08:00.001-07:002015-09-23T23:16:54.775-07:00Shampoo & Conditioner apply ***<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am probably the only person I know, who has fun through
the week and sits home on the weekends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Grumpy as hell, I reach my office almost on time (terms and conditions apply), bumping into some and closely escaping many many lawyers (trust me early
morning we all look like penguins gone mad).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am usually on an empty stomach because surprise
surprise I only woke up half an hour
before ten (thanks to the unplanned karaoke the night before) and all I could
squeeze in, in those thirty precious minutes is a quick shower and a ride to
the Court. Just as I take my seat, my friend C states the much obvious fact – "YOU ARE LATE." </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BicrRHAKANA/U-XOoeAeHRI/AAAAAAAABdw/qAU5mPXbB00/s1600/tumblr_m5tz1gNr0V1qbkpwko1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BicrRHAKANA/U-XOoeAeHRI/AAAAAAAABdw/qAU5mPXbB00/s1600/tumblr_m5tz1gNr0V1qbkpwko1_400.gif" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">'Here's twenty five things you didn't know about costumes of Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya' she flashes the post under my nose.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">'I will book you for contempt of Court, trust me, I am not joking.'</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">'Wow! You are really a morning person. Can't tell you what a treat it is to chat you up in the morning.'</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">‘I am hungry,’ I whine. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">'We’ll go eat during the tea break,'
she gives me the much needed <i>himmat. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">This is my standard set routine, almost every day - except for that one odd day when I sleep on time. You know? The day I decide to be a game changer. The day which never lasts even a full blown twenty four hours. The day when no matter how much I hate doing it - I miraculously convince myself that I am meant to sleep on time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, back to my weekly schedule - so I have a sad and a very questionable sandwich at eleven - and a cappuccino with a K ;-) - which sums up my brunch and is not even strong enough to wake up Grumpy, the dwarf' let alone me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yVCqr8QbNT8/U-XWZSg-QVI/AAAAAAAABeI/EQKbQ6P4SR4/s1600/work-joke-10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yVCqr8QbNT8/U-XWZSg-QVI/AAAAAAAABeI/EQKbQ6P4SR4/s1600/work-joke-10.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Somehow I get through the day and by evening manage to drag my half dead posterior home. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Because I am highly sleep deprived not because I work so hard.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Only to have another evening of unplanned fun and repeat the same routine the next day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">And bam! Before I know, it’s the damned weekend again. And
suddenly, through no conscious efforts, I am sleeping on time, waking up on
time, cooking my own food, writing blogposts and also working out properly –
and all this while I am as chirpy as a cheeky little bird. Which is all very
very good – except that shouldn’t it be the other way round?
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Shouldn’t I be up and about through the week and a little
lazed out on the weekends?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But then irony is the flavor of my life...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I fall for the wrong guy AND friendzone the right one.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">A strict vegetarian my whole life I end up eating chicken wai wai by accident on a Tuesday (that too during navratras). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I rarely ever get a crush but when I do I make sure that it's so very
highly impractical that in front of him even prince Harry will look more
attainable.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I crack the entrance with a promising rank and then manage myself a semester back. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I yearn good company and yet am mostly alone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">For all the big talk that I do - I believe an arranged marriage is the best thing that can happen to anyone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">You see my point.. right? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Well what would be my life, if not upside down, eh?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RX5wiRzNzJM/U-XSMqVmq0I/AAAAAAAABd8/8oKnXYIwf8s/s1600/anigif_enhanced-4231-1404105002-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RX5wiRzNzJM/U-XSMqVmq0I/AAAAAAAABd8/8oKnXYIwf8s/s1600/anigif_enhanced-4231-1404105002-1.gif" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-12990693674986110392014-08-02T13:16:00.001-07:002015-09-23T23:17:53.094-07:00Come Let's talk!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">One of the most epic dialogues from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Monica says to Chandler, ‘Coming over to my work place and
telling me that you love me, I want that. Talking about pig sex over lunch, I DON’T
WANT THAT.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I mean, seriously! How difficult is it to have a nice
conversation with someone?</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now don’t get me wrong, by nice conversation, I didn’t mean super
butt kissing or anything like that. Neither did I suggest being over the top –
too good to be true – Mother Teresa version of yourself. Because even I know that there is a limit to
the number of thank yous, sorries and goodmornings and goodnights that one can
take in a day. Nobody likes a Mr Nice Bucket but the least one can do is to keep
it real – minus any façade, you know? </span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">‘Goodmorning dear, have a nice day.’ </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This very phrase puts
me to sleep. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Seriously, snore snore snore. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Some might say, what is wrong with
this? But I swear, I get up, read one or two such texts and then automatically
fall back to sleep only to reach my office late. (Go ahead judge me all you
want but that’s the ugly truth.) </span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">You want to be the first one they read from in the morning?
Then make it worth their while. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Or else, do you know how are they going to
remember your wish? It’s when they are fully awake and you send another
goodafternoon message and suddenly they’d be like, oh did he wish me in the
morning as well or did I dream about that.. let me just scroll up. No one is
asking you to send images, forwarded texts or mind numbingly long senti messages
(with an unedited love you Tamanna in the end.) Just a ‘howdy babe’ shall
suffice, as long as you wrote it like you said it.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But if this is too damn difficult and you seriously can’t
think of a better way to wish someone in the morning – then just wish it in
your head – you don’t really have to text it. God will still listen to you, even
though he is not on watsapp. Because by sending that darned text, trust me, you
are making your own case worse.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">See if you really do care for some one – please go ahead and
show them that (although, trust me on this, don’t go overboard – you don’t want
to come off as very clingy) – but yes, everyone likes to know that there is
someone who cares for them, so there – that’s your silver lining. However, in
your bid to tell them that – never please, lose face. It’s very important that
you know this.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am sure you must have come across some people getting too
familiar for your taste – You know? Like they grew up playing <i>unch neech ka papda </i>with you or
something. While all they really know about you is your first name and maybe
your last name. I mean, what’s that all about?</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">‘Hor fer kiddan soneyo?’ Roughly translated ‘And how’s it
going hot stuff?’ - Lol! A message like
this from a near stranger is a worse than a lukewarm ‘Goodmorning Dear’ from a friend. Utter
Killjoy! SO KINDLY have yourself vaccinated against this chaddi buddy syndrome. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now if at all you are one of those people who think that all
this is asking for too much – then please o please don’t rub our faces in your
perfectly custom made too cool for school life.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Refrain from crap like, ‘Hey guess, what? You won’t believe
it - I am going to be painting <i>majhs </i>tonight
<i>(</i>buffalos not mugs) with someone else
not you.’ Because honestly, if your super cool plan doesn’t concern me, IT
GENIUENLY DOESN’T CONCERN ME.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">From a good date to a good maid – they are so difficult to
find. But you know who is becoming even more extinct by the day – a good conversationalist.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Some are trying too hard.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Some are not trying at all.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And the one’s in the middle – they have their own fuck ups..
Someone is too self obsessed. Someone is just too depressed. And someone has a
girlfriend ;-)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">All in all back to square one.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">You know people go out to clubs and lounges to socialize… I
swear if they had a place where people went just to have good conversations – I’d
be a sureshot regular over there.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I guess, in today’s fast moving world that is just too
much to ask.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I mean who has the time to bond. Talk shmalk – forget it - they
come, they see and they want to conquer but instead what happens is a plunder.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">You know, girls make lists of how they wish their man to be.
The ability to chat me up – I think is one of the biggest requisites on my
bucketlist.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Unassuming, down to earth and steady - are the other
qualities that are a must in him. But
still somehow he has to – has to – be a great conversationalist. And by that it
doesn’t just mean that I’d go yippety yappity boom.. and he'd just listen.
Yawn! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">That is not my idea of a good conversation. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">He has to have it in him to
make me want to listen too. Which almost never happens. I am worried
for my future, seriously.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And boy! Do I enjoy that once in the bluest moon conversation.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hxOH0LPNpGs/U91CBRFT8KI/AAAAAAAABdU/x1YIt1dvM5s/s1600/chatting-online-funny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hxOH0LPNpGs/U91CBRFT8KI/AAAAAAAABdU/x1YIt1dvM5s/s1600/chatting-online-funny.jpg" width="640" /> </a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">No wonder a good conversationalist, knows his worth in my eyes with in a matter of few days because suddenly I am too hooked and I have to find ways to keep it under tabs. Lucky for me, like I said, it almost never happens to me. However, when it does...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I go something like this</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BNO05o3pT3k/U91FZ5nQriI/AAAAAAAABdg/0Ib-bGHb21Q/s1600/anigif_enhanced-buzz-28185-1351279066-14.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BNO05o3pT3k/U91FZ5nQriI/AAAAAAAABdg/0Ib-bGHb21Q/s1600/anigif_enhanced-buzz-28185-1351279066-14.gif" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And probably freak them out.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />See I told you never be clingy :-)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-38794567544993904012014-07-24T00:34:00.001-07:002014-07-24T00:34:13.167-07:00Yes, my lords, I can waste some serious time!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbcDjNtjse0/U9C21ZQJ--I/AAAAAAAABdE/xvzAxdWI_ZI/s1600/Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbcDjNtjse0/U9C21ZQJ--I/AAAAAAAABdE/xvzAxdWI_ZI/s1600/Untitled.png" height="554" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-55369299928167807602014-07-21T23:10:00.001-07:002014-07-21T23:10:30.454-07:00Feeling Meh<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 24.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">"According to Chanakya Pandita, women are
generally not very intelligent and therefore not trustworthy."
(Bhagavad-gita 1.40, Purport)</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not just
this.. Something about women being prone to be unchaste and stuff like that and
how it is upon the men of a family to take care that a woman does not go
astray?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What are we
cattle?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And who made
man the king of the world? Like he is so pure and free of vice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Remember the
ever so controversial verse from Tulsidas ‘'Dhol,Gawar,Shudra ,Pashu aur Nari'
,Ye sab tadan ke adhikari.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And also what
about women of other families? They should be allowed to go ‘astray’?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then there
was Manu, the Indian law giver, with his much celebrated recitation of law, ‘manu
smriti’. He was not a big fan of us women either.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you know
how deeply that is embedded in our society to this date?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No wonder,
women are treated like they are in this country.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was going
through a bit of a rough spot and someone close to me suggested that I should
read Bhagvad Gita, and was kind enough to lend me his own copy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I happily
obliged.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And while
there is some absolute wisdom in Shrimad Bhgvad Gita, it is these so called
scholars who piss me off. After centuries of blindly following their word, can
we seriously expect the society to suddenly take a u-turn and start viewing
women in a different light? You know as fully independent individuals who are
more than capable of taking care of themselves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a country
like ours where ‘smart’ girl is considered more of a derogatory comment than praise,
sometimes I wonder where exactly are we headed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is
more to women than simple child bearing. I know that, some of you know that but
when is it that all of us will know this – and not just on paper.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So many
legislations in place for women reform but let me tell you something we can
never legislate for reform, REFORM COMES FROM WITHIN.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Next time you
sit next to an unknown woman on a bus – try earning her respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t have to do much, just not staring
will suffice. And if you see some one else doing it – please for once don’t
mind your own business, speak up. And just because I mentioned a bus doesn’t
mean that those who don’t use a bus are off the hook.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Go to the
fanciest of the gyms in town and you’d know what I am talking about. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ill behavior
has nothing to do with class, age or even gender for that matter. But as the
generation next if we don’t start putting things in perspective beginning right
now, who knows what our children may face when they grow up. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-51632208947792960952014-07-19T01:49:00.003-07:002014-07-23T23:48:00.515-07:00What an Idea Sir ji!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Disclaimer: This post is longer than I usually care to write but you better not leave midway!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So you wake up at seven (which I personally think is the
best time to wake up- not too early, not too late), to a hot steaming cup of
green tea and wonderful weather outside. You have a hint of a smile on you and
you like it (How often does it happen to you after all?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Not wanting to step out of the bed, you stretch your moments
of bliss as much as you possibly can – silently repeating in your head your new ‘not so secret’ vow to live life to
the fullest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Wow! Happiness is just a state of mind after all. I guess
they were right. Look at me. So happy!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">And then you make the ultimate mistake. You reach out for
your phone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">And the first and by the way the only message you see on it
is from airtel people, tempting you to talk to Ms Leone. And the true blue
Piscean that you are – you imagine yourself giving her a call. What would you
say to her, if at all you talk to her?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Hi babe, I hear you are hosting Splitsvilla these days?’</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Wow! Don’t tell me you actually wasted a moment thinking
about it. Some life you have!’ Enough of reminiscing get to work,'- It was time the true
blue Meena Kumari in me was up.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Because only thing worse than getting a Sunny Leone message
is - you know? getting that advertisement on your sidebar – Are you single? Don’t
wait anymore. Find hot dates in your neighbourhood.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Now you wonder, why the fcuk were you so jubilant about
yourself last night? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">That’s it. Last night’s Sangria is out of your system and
it’s time you took the ‘I HEART LIFE’ sticker off your fcuking forehead.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Last night I was out with a friend whose company I really
really cherish. Reason being she is a
lot like me.You know she is not like me-like me per say (she is Hawt) but she
is like me in the matters of love – i.e, unlucky ;-) </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Okay ‘truth’ apart, there are two categories of girls.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">One is who meet someone nice, fall in love in like a day or
something and have cute babies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Lol and then there is this other category (we are a limited
few) We have no strong feelings towards love as such but we sure do love to
chase the sweet illusions of love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">And boy! Do we love that chase? I think we love it more than
love itself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">We like not knowing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">We get accused of not knowing even when true love bites us
in the behind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">We get blamed for making the wrong choices.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Anyway I guess I should come to the point. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So part reason
why we ended up meeting yesterday was because I am leaving town in a bit, for a
bit and part reason was that she had apparently found the love of her life and
it was time we ripped open the wraps on this one. You know dissecting the
boyfriend inch by inch.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Okay so dinner it is, I can’t wait to see you,’ she gushed
and hung up.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Urghhh.. not her too,’ I looked up for my whiny make belief
one on one with God.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘You know you’d love him. He doesn’t even facebook or
watsapp, for crying out loud. He calls - Like a real man - sooooo old school. He does not know any other way. That tipsy
turvy feeling of love – I have it like all the time. Every time he calls, I
have butterflies somersaulting all the way from my tummy to my small intestine. ’ We hadn’t even heard the specials yet and here was my newly in
love friend, making me hear every little detail of the new lad in town.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘What does he do?’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘You mean besides making my world go whroooom?’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Very funny,’ I rolled my eyes.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘He is a lawyer.’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘I thought you hated lawyers.’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Yeah, that was until I found him. Which reminds me you
should hear him speak. You’ll fall for that voice, five seconds flat.’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘I am sure I will,’ I managed a forced smile, ‘Good looking?’</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Hmmm not bad,’ she gave it a thought, ‘but I don’t think it’s
his voice or his looks or even his profession that counts?’</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Then what does?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘It’s something beyond the obvious.. and I mean it. When we
talk, I feel things which we only read about in novels and see in the movies - we dont just talk - we connect.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Okay so how long have you been dating?’ I tried cutting her short. I mean she was a
close friend alright but there was no need for her to rub her amazing love life
in her pathetically single friend’s face.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Oh! No, we are not dating. In fact we have not even met.
Not even had a cup of coffee together,’ she replied somewhat dismissively.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Oh! You have not,’ I absorbed the rather significant piece
of information which I don’t know why she had forgotten to mention so far. ‘Well,
then tell me one thing girlfriend, What the fcuk are we doing discussing a
make-belief boyfriend?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Oh no, he exists alright. He is just not my boyfriend,’ she
said tossing a free salted peanut in her mouth.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘And why is that so?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Well for two reasons. One I don’t think he is quite there yet.
I mean we flirt back and forth but I suppose he is too chicken or uninterested
whatever it is of the two, to start something real. And two, even if we were to
start something with this ‘luke warm sentiment’ I am not sure it'd go too far.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘And yet you seem surprisingly upbeat about it?’ I had to
ask.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Yes, because I have it all figured out.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Do care to share,’ I prodded.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Well, see who knows if or when we get there? And even if we
do get there, chances are that we’d fuck it up.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘hmm’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘But you know what can never be fucked up?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘What?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘It’s the idea of him. See mind numbingly appealing as he is, he is bound to be flawed ---- THEY ALL ARE --- and if I keep flirting with the idea
of him, I may never find out those flaws. And you know what I have realized it’s the
idea of him being so utterly perfect that excites me more than the guy himself. Now
that’s romantic, isn’t it?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘That’s fucked up, that’s what it is.’ I replied, a little happy
inside, that not another one of my single girlfriends is getting whisked away.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Come on you know what I am talking. How often do we meet a
great guy?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Not that often,’ I replied rather quickly, not wanting to
think about my life at all. All I ever run into is .... well, a topic for another day.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Like a clean loo at the ISBT - it's a rare find,' she stated in a very matter-of-factly way, 'S</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">o what do you do when you find one?' She paused for a second, as if she wanted me to answer it for her.. Looked disappointed at my apparent lack of interest and continued, 'tch... you either date him and wait for him to become one of the
regular ordinary run of the mill annoying
jackass, or, you preserve the idea of him forever.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Kind of like deep frozen peas?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Exactly.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Wow’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘No seriously, like this you can enjoy, you can be tingly
and be dazzled by this amazing man that no one else knows of. He can make your toes curl, just by a phone call and no one get's hurt. A total win win.' She shrugged as if she had found the ultimate way to salvation.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Is it possible that it is just infatuation on your part?’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">‘Infatuation, my ass! I get infatuated by puppies. This is definitely
something real. It’s just that am not gonna act on it.’</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">That said and she was genuinely back to being herself, the
fun sorted girl that I have always known. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Which made me wonder as to how mechanical we have become in
relationships today. This new found ability of not letting anything put us down.
Not wanting to run away from real emotions but at the same time being so ruthlessly
practical, that if we can’t have him, we are more than okay with just the ‘idea
of him’.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Because, rightly enough, no one can ever spoil that idea for us!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">But in our bid to run away from hurt and grief, how unreal are we willing to be?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Harmless flirting with a guy we like - so that we get through the day at least - is this what today's relationships have stooped down to?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">First we never meet some one who makes us feel like what we want to be felt like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">and even if miraculously enough, we find that someone, It's most certainly with a lot of baggage,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">And no one today wants to lug around someone else's crap, especially when we got so much of our own.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So what are the odds of meeting someone where a relationship can slip beyond the superficial.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Where there is no bullshit, where we can cut it out, get real and be like that without the fear of having committed a blunder, yet again. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Damn I could go on .....</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vmzovgFj5M4/U8plbRgw3YI/AAAAAAAABc0/ht7_ZSffNyc/s1600/10553427_10154395216105472_8475995276375289018_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vmzovgFj5M4/U8plbRgw3YI/AAAAAAAABc0/ht7_ZSffNyc/s1600/10553427_10154395216105472_8475995276375289018_n.jpg" height="512" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;">P.S. I am not usually this corny ;-) But the post called for it.</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-15722465943638386412014-07-02T05:26:00.000-07:002014-07-02T07:53:26.649-07:00Gangs of Parliament<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;">Didi is hurt and Biwi is sorry!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But wait till you hear the culprit’s story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Grave provocation – that’s his ‘defense’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Mind we rape you? No offense!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">And did you know there was more to the plan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Kill the opposition and their extended clan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Chill my friends, I used to be a goon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">And now your MP – an added boon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear <i>mantri ji</i> ,
what’s with the lunacy?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last I checked - we were still a democracy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Through brazen speeches and sickening threats</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Politicians sleep and the nation frets.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Relax you guys and put it to rest,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Just see the comments in the “right” context.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">An MP’s good sense gone for a six,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But it’s nothing that an apology, won’t fix.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Also I hear, its bye bye short skirts</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cause you are asking for it, if he flirts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">So girls, better bid adieu to all your little joys’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">For our men will be men and boys will – alas!-be boys.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-58910015634372711672014-06-26T01:56:00.000-07:002014-06-26T05:15:44.571-07:00Overdose killed the Comedy Star!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
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</h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">I like Kapil. He gave a new meaning to the comedy on Indian
Television – He MADE IT FUNNY.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">I like Honda. They give us reliable cars.</span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">But whatever these two did, when they put their minds
together – I DEFINETLY DID NOT LIKE IT.</span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Kapil, a small towner, makes me beam with pride every time
an Amitabh Bachan walks in on his show.
You know, it’s people like him which give people like us a ray of hope.
That never mind the jacks and the pulls and the rich powerful genes, HARD WORK
STILL IS THE ULTIMATE KEY TO SUCCESS. </span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">But does that mean that I like how he pulls those mean
oneliners on his wife (Comically masquerading their way through the show as ‘funny
shots’)? I guess not! Every time he tells her to have a good look in
the mirror, or to you know learn from the ‘hot’ women guests a thing or two, or
generally to “just buzz off”. A tiny part of my heart feels the sting – but I
never let myself look into it because I fear being termed ‘uptight’. ‘You are
looking too much into it? It's just a well meaning comey show,' I’d reason with myself and pretend laugh with
friends even though the insensitivity in those one liners may sometimes (I
repeat, sometimes) be gut wrenching. </span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Let’s just say there is a kid in the family
and he is watching his elders really laugh and enjoy at how Sharma <i>ji </i>converses with his wife… Are you
telling me that, that kid is not going to pick a thing or two from Bittoo
Sharma? Again Kapil is not really at fault per say – Just like Honey Singh – he
is only representing our general mindset as a nation. But just cause it is
general – does it become right?</span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">That sometimes this ‘family show’ crosses all boundaries – (And
yes, this from a Splitsvillan) </span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">How most of the punch-lines of the show are appearance centric?
Here good looking women, are celebrated with unmatched gusto but god forbid,
you are fat and you are dead. And what’s with that exaggerated goatee on Palak?
Am I the only one disgusted?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">That women are nothing but talking props on his show, is
another thing. Well, of course not the make belief one’s. I am talking about
the real one’s - be it bua, some padosan or the dear wifey. They are
all nothing but meager means to gratify the purpose of ‘sexual objectivity’,
again in a funny funny manner.</span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, as long as he makes us laugh! We’d bear with just
about anything. Right? We are Indians .. Bearing is our middle name.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">But what happens when he loses the comic effect but gets
even more ludicrous than before?</span></h4>
<h4>
</h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Ek saath 7-7 log baith sakte hain, vo bhi adults? Really,
Kapil? Really Honda people? Hum ne to suna thi ki achey din aane waale hain –
but aapke itne bure din aa jaeyenge – ye nahi pta tha!</span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=82FLUJOy2aY&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3jpLOO8SRM0%26feature%3Dshare" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=82FLUJOy2aY&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3jpLOO8SRM0%26feature%3Dshare</a> </span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">This commercial just proves what I feared will happen one day
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possible flaws.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here, I leave you with a thought.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;">An SSB interview going on…</span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Interviewer: So why do you think you can be an officer?</span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Interviewee: Because sir, I may not have any of the officer
like qualities, but bad habits saari hain. I too smoke and drink, sir ji!</span></h4>
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span></h4>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></h4>
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Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-80919136073742687342014-06-25T05:28:00.000-07:002014-06-25T05:36:00.746-07:00Just another day on facebook!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Hey check this out. Cute profile picture ya.. I wonder why I
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Click – Yeah, he is backpacking across the Wicklow national
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<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next Click – And that stub.. really really suits him ..
Manly!</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Ah! A crooked crooked smile!</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Wow and he has a pet dog - heart skips a beat.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Boy! He is tall. Wah! Wah! Hi-5 Cupid!</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – He sure seems like a hit with his friends too.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – aww and in spite of all this he is a mama’s
boy.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Click-click-click-click-click – All pics of him alone or
with a bunch of friends. HE IS SINGLE. </span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next Click – Check out his last post he is kinda funny too.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – A caption to his picture reads “I did not want
the fish curry though.” Thank God! He did not ‘wanted’ the fish curry and he is
a vegetarian. Could I be anymore impressed?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Tch… But
why is he clicking a picture of himself in front of the mirror? (Tiny
heartbreak) Shake it off – shake it off - So what? He is a little self obsessed,
it’s endearing really.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Is that an ear piercing?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next Click – Pink? Oh no, it’s so not his colour. (Not
getting a good feeling about this one.)</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Now did he really have to put a picture of when
he had the ‘tere-naam’ haircut.. I mean I know every Indian boy goes through that
phase (It’s mandatory) but not every Indian boy sticks on facebook the proofs
of every weird phase they went through during their fascinating teens. Other
wise it’d be called the ‘phase-book’</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click : Cowboy hat? Really?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – wait a minute – is that the dog again? What the
fuck is he doing with it?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Likes Honey singh .</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – What’s he doing with his head in the toilet?– (This
seals the deal – Can’t believe I fell for this one.)</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Back to my homepage.</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click- settings</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – deactivate account</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – google</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next click – Will I die single?</span></h4>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<h4>
</h4>
</div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-33297140053274922422014-06-21T17:46:00.002-07:002014-06-22T06:36:15.338-07:00Because somethings just last a life time :-)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">So you know back in the day, we used to have this annual carnival at
my hometown. Nothing over the top – No Brazilian dancers or colorful
parades. But it meant the world to me. It took place in the month of
March, which also happens to be my birthday month, and more often than
not the carnival week used to coincide with my birthday. Need I ask for
more? As a spinning top, all of eight, I used to be all over the place.
For a kid hopped up on sugar, being in that place used to be like
finding gold. No, wait, not just finding gold but finding gold with
ice-cream on it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Every year as soon as the calendar was out, I
used to earmark those special magical seven days of endless fun. You
know? The merry-go-round, the giant wheel or even the snake charmers for
that matter (told you it was a small town!) So much so, that at a
tender age of seven I knew that I had to save up for the big event all
round the year, because whatever I’d manage to save, mum and dad,
tripled that sum, respectively. So the more I saved the
merry-go-roundier it was. I’d show off my giant pool of money to my
friends and cousins before all the fun began, because no one in my
entire group could even come close to me. I was always on top of the
pocket-money pyramid. (This from a girl, who has never been a topper in a
class of forty – her entire life.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway year after year passed
like that and by the time I reached eighth grade, I had become this self
proclaimed version of ‘too cool for school.’ Suddenly the carnival
seemed lame to me and I couldn’t make, what the fuss was all about? I
don’t know when exactly this happened but suddenly the people who
attended that thing, seemed nothing but big dorks to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Huh! Losers,’ I’d role my eyes, ‘I am just glad I am not into this stuff anymore.’</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Little
did I know that some fifteen years down the line – I’d miss being a
part of that little space so much that suddenly the best lounges in the
city wouldn’t make me feel one millionth as happy as I was back then.
But at that point of time my hatred for the little carnival only
increased with every passing year. Something that brought me such joy as
a child was now nothing but a mere nuisance. ‘Urghhh what’s with so
much noise?’ I’d whine every evening and my parents would just give me a
blank expression, which was enough to send chills down ones spine. ‘Ah!
But what do they know?’ I’d shrug.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Life zigzags funnily – at fifteen I thought I owned the world, at twenty six not any more. EYES WIDE OPEN.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Some
five years ago I visited home and found my little nephew equally (if
not more) excited about the whole thing. ‘What? They are still doing
it,’ it was as if I had dumped that memory, underneath all that crap
life had handed over to me (Heartbreaks, tears and irony to name a few).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Of
course it’s going on,’ said my father, ‘What did you think? It’d stop
just because some people stopped valuing it?’ SARCASM DRIPPING ALL OVER
THE PLACE.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">‘No, that’s not what I meant,’ I replied quickly, ‘how about I come along?’ I questioned, in my bid to do some damage control.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Sure why not? Although let me tell you it’s not half as fancy as things are in your big city.’</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">‘Papa, will you let go now?’</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And
so I did visit that carnival after a lapse of say eight nine years. And
boy! Nothing had changed. Kids were still fluttering all over the
space. There was firework. There was light and most importantly, there
was joy. But you know what gnawed at my insides though? It was that
feeling – when you let go of someone great in your life – just cause you
thought you were too good for them. And when you realize your mistake
you come running to them and nice people, that they are, they forgive in
a jiffy. But it’s that niceness which kills you inside, for being so
selfish to them at one point of time. It could be anyone, your ex, your
best friend, or may be a distant cousin. That’s the feeling I got that
day. Even though the best memory of my life had welcomed me back with an
open heart – it was me who could not see eye to eye – with my sweet
little carnival. It felt as if I didn’t belong there anymore. As if I
had lost that right to claim it as my best memory and boy it hurt!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But
for what it’s worth, I did see it as my first of the many eye openers
to come. And there on onwards, there has been not a single year when I
have not made it to that carnival, in the hope that it accepts me once
again :-)</span></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-17530975396229721942014-06-19T14:28:00.004-07:002014-06-19T14:32:34.137-07:00When I am not here<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://stuteenag.wordpress.com/">You can find me here :-)</a></span></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-79334343257002481842014-06-15T02:03:00.000-07:002014-06-15T02:03:37.018-07:00This Father's day!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This Father’s day!</div>
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<br /></div>
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My Hero, My friend, My Safety net</div>
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There’s no one who loves me more - I bet.</div>
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First time I rode my bike,</div>
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There you were, watching with pride.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As if I had conquered the Everest,</div>
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You rooted for me, you were the best.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember when I was afraid of dark?</div>
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Leave me alone and my throat would parch.</div>
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I was your daughter and you loved me alright,</div>
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-- </i>in the middle of the night,</div>
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With a rusty old clock and a funny flash light.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Say hi to the ghost if he stops by.’</div>
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‘Trust me you’ll like him, he is a funny guy.’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘See you in an hour, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">beta
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<br /></div>
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Only to teach me a lesson, you had to hide.</div>
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This I didn’t know at that point of time,</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then came that time when my Hero changed</div>
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Your efforts to rescue – went all in vain.</div>
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Gone were the days of the ghost in the meadow,</div>
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I was this pesky little thing you know,</div>
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<br /></div>
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Anticipating what lay in store,</div>
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You stood by my side, but said no more. </div>
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Not long after I learnt a lesson again.</div>
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This time not so easy and with a lot of pain.</div>
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Brokenhearted I came to you</div>
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Blunder on top of a blunder,</div>
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How easily you forgive me? I wonder.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So I guess this father’s day,</div>
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What I am trying to say,</div>
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Is the thing that doesn’t get said enough</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I hit rock bottom and the going gets rough,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s your wise words which make me tough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear father, I love you more than I care to confide,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are my friend, philosopher and my guide.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish you health, joy and pride,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May the life ahead be a blissful ride!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-55771279041089278022014-06-06T05:54:00.000-07:002014-06-06T05:54:26.798-07:00Bliss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qpzqdLzxry4/U5G5kzyxZsI/AAAAAAAABbs/C9aejFynrgI/s1600/Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qpzqdLzxry4/U5G5kzyxZsI/AAAAAAAABbs/C9aejFynrgI/s1600/Untitled.png" height="388" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-437554476964379892014-04-24T07:14:00.002-07:002014-06-14T03:10:16.603-07:00Feeling Modi-vated<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
On one side is a one ‘night’ wonder </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His cough louder than thunder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aimless tusker out on plunder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not a mistake but actually our blunder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand is Mr Modi</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">munna </i>fresh
out of momma’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">godi</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pomp show and a huge campaign</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good on looks but a little less brain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diehard Modi fan? No, I am not</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it’s my best bet and that’s all I got</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">balatkar, No
bharastachar</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s cut down on the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">attyachar</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So do all your soch-vichaar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clichéd - yes, it is</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ab ki baar modi
sarkaar</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stand up and do what’s right</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fight the evil with all your might</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s time you make a wise decision</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hit that button with care and precision</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
UPA is dead and outdated</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hell yeah! I feel Modi-vated.</div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-53654178026498320332014-04-23T05:19:00.001-07:002014-06-14T03:12:11.631-07:00Shit just got shittier, and then it turned serious brow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /> 20000000 definitions of happiness and yet no one is happy… Happiness is
this…. Happiness is that – I’ll tell you what happiness is it is my
dog’s spiral shaped poop, that’s what it is.<br /> <br /> Good evening friends, happy Wednesday evening? Yes, I just read this status two seconds ago.<br /> <br /> Twenty reasons why you should date a Bengali, Tamilian, Punjabi <span class="text_exposed_show">girl?
What are you kissing ass regionally now? Like oh no! India has a
thrillion people, quick find a way to sub categorize them and then kiss
ass at break neck speed. Besides shouldn’t the post read Why a
Bengali/Tamilian/Punjabi girl should date you? Since when did you have
the luxury to form categories and then choose accordingly… It’s not for
you to decide which girl to go with! Lol! Count your blessings (that at
least some girl said yes) and move on. Aaye bade penning reasons to date
girls.<br /> <br /> The constant never ending IPL updates? When I learnt
IPL is not taking place in India, I felt like I finally had something
going in the year 2014. Like a reason to smile or something. What the
fuck did I know about this constant torture on my fb?<br /> <br /> Those
statuses rebuking players like they grew up playing unch neech ka papda
with you in your backyard… (Take it easy buddy! Messi (Yuvi) fucked up,
it’s okay the lad had his focus wrong. Sometimes shit happens. Chill!)<br /> <br />
Oooh and the latest photo shoots! We know you just got married - the
testosterone is high and while you may give Brangelina a run for their
money (God knows you are pros) you may want to consider not overdoing
it.<br /> <br /> That picture of you which you are passing off as a natural
shot.. pretending like you had no clue that it was being clicked. (Lol!
You are fooling nobody.) I mean, how absented minded do you have to be
to not know that your picture was getting clicked. For otherwise it
should be looking like those sting videos,, blurry, hazy and
unascertainable. Not like the Nat Geo fucking covershot of the month.<br /> <br />
Really deep, meaningful, observational, advisory, well meaning, life
altering shit that puts me to sleep in an instant– I’d friend Paulo
Coehlo if I was looking for that.<br /> <br /> The virtual political
vendetta (ye nya laaye hain is saal) Sometimes statuses get so heated up
that I feel someone somewhere is just seconds short of firing an
imaginary gun.<br /> <br /> Savita dreamer traveller Sharma … Why? Why? Why? Normal Savita Sharma pe log pathar marenge kya?<br /> <br /> wHY dOyoU hAvE tO wRItE sTatUsEs lIKe tHIs? I donOt uNdErstAND :-I<br /> <br />
It’s okay you can check in at an <strike>airport</strike> - Sorry, ✈port (apparently
people won’t know it’s a plane that lands at the airport until we draw
it) So am just playing by the rules. Anyway, so where was I? Yes, last I
checked it was totally legal to check in at an airport and not check in
on facebook simultaneously. You are rich, you travel by planes, We get
it. Just tell us when you reach there,, everything else is kinda self
explanatory. I mean spain ab auto me to jaoge nahi? All we wish for is a
happy stay for you, not really interested in knowing how you got there!<br /> <br />
And what the fuck is this feeling blessed shit. I don't see a white
disk doing rounds on my head every time I am feeling blessed.<br /> <br /> and not just that every feeling has an icon.. I mean, how dare you feel happy any other way than how facebook taught you?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">Feeeeling <i>bakch**ed</i> </span></span></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-39454398778494031852014-01-19T03:12:00.002-08:002014-06-14T03:12:11.618-07:00The Blues of the Blue Blazer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What is with the attitude people?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The standards of hospitality are being re-defined by the
clubs in the city – and not in a good way. A couple of passes to let the stags
in and they think that they own the fucking world. But what they don’t seem to
notice is that they don’t make for a happening place, it is us who do. So it’s
better we get a couple of things straight – that If it is two o clock in the
night and your effin swipe machine is having a problem – it is not up to us to
go out in search of an ATM to gratify your demands, especially when we have
paid for the last couple of orders just fine and we did not actually need to
order that last round but we still did – under the illusion that it will amount
to a perfect ending to a perfect evening. What did we know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ki boss ab to chadhi chadhai utarney waali hai </i>– that the place that
we were so far believing to be a smart choice for Saturdays and mind patting
ourselves about making it there - was soon going to end us in a state of near embarrassment.
</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You did what you did, that is not even the issue, you well deserved
the payment but - the issue is the ATTITUDE with which it was done. You know that look of lame helplessness - the look through which you are willing to be so shamelessly money minded that I am afraid no self-respecting person is going to end up at your place again.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may have all the power in letting in a couple of cash
starved drunk dudes but that in no way gives you the authority or the
legitimacy to treat the other well meaning guests the same way. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you are so medieval that you can’t afford a decent
swiping machine- well then the good thing to do is to open a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dhaba </i>or at least put a board in front
that we, at BLUE BLAZER, do not accept cards- we prefer you bring your goat in exchange
for the drinks (which I may add are ridiculously over-priced too.) </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And yes, you may have a couple of drunk people around - who
put up with your nonsense because they won’t wake up to remember it the next
day - but that’s not the case with everybody. Some of us happen to have a
perfectly intact memory the next morning. So before you go about judging people
on the drunk-o-meter you may want to look into your own errors in judgment. Pfff!
Drunkards – that is the look which was the most disgusting part of this whole
episode. If at all there was some issue with the card payment – the decent
thing to do was to apologize for it and make sure that one of your men helped
us to an ATM close by and saw to it that the payment was done. Since when is it
okay to treat your own guests with the look of suspicion – to send one of us
out looking for an ATM middle of the night – while the rest waited in an almost
shut lounge- like some sort of a mortgaged property -that is the last thing one
expects from a lounge of a decent standing. You people are all over the
internet- inviting us to like you and what not – and party and make merry with
you – but when it actually gets to that- all we get is poor hospitality and
lame looks. So much for the whole pomp and show you put up.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, for all of you sitting on the other side – making big
bucks off us every weekend – let me just get one thing straight to you -Chandigarh
changes it’s hot spots in a heart beat and I have witnessed this trend for way
too long to say it with a certain amount of confidence that you are no
different either. You will be long gone and we will be still here merrier than
ever. So rather than designing your own doom, I suggest, you redo your vows on what-do-you-call-it
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">atithi devo bhava</i> – or if not that
then at least sign up for a two week course in hospitality – this being your
first lesson too for free. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And yes, we may not amount to your costliest guest but we
do amount to a decent crowd – and like I said – it’s the crowd that makes up
for a place and not vice-versa. So next time you go about mistreating any
single one of your guests – you may want to consider the fact that there is no
worse PR than a vocal person – who refuses to be kowtowed by your anarchic ways
and means. Because then no number of likes on a freaking Facebook page can
change things. Mind it!</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-44140955761224735312013-11-22T06:12:00.000-08:002014-06-14T03:12:11.626-07:00Sex, Sting and Tehelka<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am sorry for this rather prolonged absence, but I had my
reasons. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I am back and I HAVE MY REASONS.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of you may still find my seemingly lalala absence
inexcusable. I am sorry. How about I self impose some sort of a lameass punishment on me.
Will that suffice? Whaaaat? Last I checked people were doing it - A six months of
paid vacation for ‘sexual assault’. Isn’t that right? Based on this, my absence
should cost me what? A week long holiday in Phuket? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tarun Tejpal! Have you read his novels? I was a fan. ‘WAS’
being the word worth notice. I was about 20 when I read ‘Alchemy of Desire’ and
I was like boy! he can describe sex without straying the boundaries of sleaze
even once. Wow! There’s a writer I’d like to read more often, I thought. However,
by the time I read his second novel I realized something else. Hell, he could
be smack-dab-in-the-middle sleazy and yet you may not for once notice it.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What I barely registered back then, seems like a shrewd
observation now. Of Course I did not pay much heed to it at that time. If only
I knew what was coming I would have probably noted it down in my journal.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway Tarun did what Tarun did .. But what are we doing?
Spreading awareness on internet is one thing but sharing unverifiable content
just for the heck of it is simply something else. What may be information for
us may simply be arousing stories for someone else. Believe it or not, many
just read it for the kick or worse, share it for a like or two.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Think about a hundred times before you click ‘share’. Do you
really want to share something, which in all certainty, was a very private
correspondence between two individuals. Besides, sharing such details about the
victim is not just immoral it is plain illegal. I hope you know that?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And by simply not taking her name but discussing everything
else under the sky related to her, you are doing her no favor either. So learn
the spirit not the letter of the law and this specifically applies to fellow
bloggers.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">S</span>how support, no one is stopping you. But don’t let your
support be a hindrance in the way of victim herself. A suo motu FIR says it
all, if she would have wanted to bring things in the public domain, she could
have done it in a split second. But she chose not to, so show some restraint
please.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This happened back when Nirbhaya was the victim. I don’t
know what sort of a sick mentality do you have to possess to actually share a
rape victim’s sorry picture in order to garner some sympathy/publicity
whatever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which, whether was her picture
or not, jury is still out.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If anything, expose TARUN not his victim.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Secondly, PLEASE WAIT. I know, I am biting the bullet here
but still please wait before you pass the judgment. I mean, yes he has taken
responsibility to an extent and yes, that means that there is some guilt. But
to brand him a rapist may be a little too early. Tehelka has done a lot to piss
major political powers off and well this is their time to pay back. Don’t get
swayed as a result of some political revenge and please don’t politicize this
issue so much that the real ends are left hanging somewhere in the middle.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lastly, it is not just about a single individual. It is not
about Tarun Tejpal. It is about you and it is about me. It is about every
single woman, working or otherwise. It is about every single man, employer or
otherwise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is about gender equality
in spirit and not just in letter. You can’t legislate for reform, reform comes
from within, I read somewhere. We can go on passing bills after bills and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we can go on making guidelines after
guidelines but till the time we do not have it in us to actually bring
ourselves to implement those guidelines – there won’t be any reform little or
large.</span></div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-26565336718923387612013-10-02T06:10:00.001-07:002014-06-14T03:12:11.610-07:00Dark and Lovely<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There was a girl, darker than ebony. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unpopular- Unnoticed and Unhappy , she went on with her
life.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whether she was ambitious, we know not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whether she was a go getter, we care not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She dressed to kill, it mattered not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Was she smack dab in the middle awesome, we suppose not.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For what we know is that one fine morning, she got up
applied OLAY NATURAL WHITE – or some such crap and la-la-la her life was set. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guys wooed her. Mom and dad were finally happy for now to
find a nice Indian boy won’t be a trouble at all. She was suddenly so popular –
she had 521 likes on her picture – for crying out loud. And her life was set.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She made merry and lived happily ever after in the LA-LA
land without a care. For, two of the most unattainable goals that a girl could
set for herself – well yeah, she had reached them both.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No, no, she did not find an alternative source of fuel or
stepped on Pluto.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Instead, She turned white, not to forget naturally so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And, she was popular, Told you about the 521 likes, didn’t
I?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ram Ram Ram</i>, can
we sink <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>any lower than this on the commercial
barrell? I mean, not that we were floating on top earlier. I have seen n number
of advertisements that make me want to screech my eyes right out. But this
brings us to a new low.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This obsession with white skin- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>has got to stop and as if it was not enough
that you throw in facebook too. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The fairer you are is directly proportional to the number of
likes on your facebook and that in turn is proportional to how happy you are in
life.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Can a commercial be anymore absurd and misleading?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trust me, I am not making this up, see the commercial for
yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To tell you the truth I was always under the impression that
it was the teenagers of the 90’s who had this obsession with light skin,
because quite frankly it was only in 90’s when I was a kid that I heard some
elder girls say things like, ‘is she fairer than me?’ or It’s just tanning I am
a lot more fairer than this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But along came the 21<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup> century and obsession
with color seemed like a thing of past. May be it was because my horizon
expanded as I grew up or whatever but never once did I hear a single girl crib
over her complexion and I thought to myself what mindless duds were those girls
back then.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In fact I saw girls celebrate brown skin with such gusto as
never before—but off late it seems as though underneath all this impression
that was being created the ugly truth still loomed large and that is that our
love for anything white is very much there, I just did not notice it. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back in school once, we did not let Fair & Lovely,
sponsor our event because we found it hard to buy the concept that fair and
lovely comes up with every now and then. Trust, Fair and Lovely to believe that
to be anything from a commentator to an air hostess – you have to be fair- else
you should hide yourself in some ‘dark’ corner of your house. Besides, the name
itself is so unnerving… Why, Dark isn’t lovely?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The darkest of the female actors in the industry (men or
women) are airbrushed to look as if they have just stepped out of a tub full of
plaster of Paris. And the worst part is that they themselves don’t mind selling
it. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyhow this post is just a way of venting out that
frustration and anger which finds no outlet. Are, we as a race, so dumb that we
can’t find more creative ways to sell our product that we don’t mind selling a
color that is not even essentially our color? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have we lost it to this an extent that as a nation we not
only tolerate but also direct, feature in and come up with such absurd and
meaningless ideas? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or, is it that even after 6 decades of independence our
colonial hangover isn’t still over and we still feel that – The Fairer The
Better. For if it is so then where do we place ourselves as a nation?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is a call to ban all such commercials or features that
celebrate fairness in any other thing but attitude.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-801860910017145801.post-27016456212942054662013-07-24T07:28:00.001-07:002013-07-24T07:57:46.404-07:00SHOE BITES<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
So I had to be somewhere today... like somewhere really
important. I mean on an importance scale of 1 to 10 I’d rate it a perfect ten. One
being alright-since-I-have-nothing-better-to-do-and-these-tickets-were-gifted-by-the-local-radio-station and ten being hey-bhagwaan-mai-ne-aaj-tak-tujhse-kuch-nai-manga-but-aaj-mangti-hun...aaj
time pe pohncha de har Tuesday mtha tekne aaungi. I am hoping you are getting
the picture so far.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now since it was an important day – I decided planning ahead
of time – something that I am accused of not doing by all and sundry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only did I decide beforehand as to what I was supposed
to wear but I also ironed and hung my formals the night before (huh! In your
face haters!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next, I dug out from a never-ending pile of footwear (Yes, I
am a proud owner of one hundred and twenty thousand pair of shoes) a very
formal pair of ballerinas to go with my ensemble (as opposed to the pink and yellow
butterfly print peep toe that I usually end up wearing.) Even though they did
not really require I still polished them with as much care and attention as
people polish their teeth with. In the end I even applied Vaseline to them like
those make-belief mothers do to their toddlers in some baby oil commercials.
They looked happy, my shoes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I sorted my documents in order-placed them in a file
and rechecked them once again. (Wow! I could picture my mother shedding a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">khushi ka aansu</i> back home– her daughter
so responsible- so grown up)</div>
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At one point even the whacky thought of getting up at five
and doing everything before time crossed my mind but afraid of stretching it
too far I decided against it and put an alarm for seven.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I had to reach by 1 but I called the cab (yes, a cab and
not an auto) at 11 only so as to not appear as I had just landed from the secret
land of Narnia <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and this place was
practically an hour’s drive from my place – WHICH THANKS TO OUR BLOODSUCKING
PETROL PRICES MEANT A MONTH LONG BAN ON THE BASIC NEEDS OF LIFE. But I was unperturbed.
I could survive on water but I needed to be there at 1.</div>
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Whenever I am too worried, nervous or running late – I tend
to lose stuff- so I decided against carrying my handbag lest I lose it and just
picked up a wallet- my perfectly organised file <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and some extra <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">chiller </i>(These cab <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wallahs, </i>I
thought,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>are always mooching money
off us in the name of ‘sorry-mam-no-change’) Usually if the meter says say 270
they are always in a hurry to round it to 300 but today there was no way that –
that was going to happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
anticipation, I kept plenty of ten and twenty rs bills with me.</div>
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I wanted to be the most prepared candidate there ever was,
after all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As was the plan I reached the office – well in time. The
sense of victory and perfection refused to leave me alone. And what was even
better was the fact that meter said seven hundred and thirty bucks. Proud of my
anticipatory planning- I took out one thousand and thirty ruppes.</div>
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‘Here you go,’ I said rather smugly, handing him the money
and dying to see the look of disappointment on his face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Madam <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">khulla nai hai,’</i>
he replied point blank.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Arrey khula dia to,’ </i>I
laughed, at the obvious mistake that the poor fellow had made.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Arrey madam hazar ka
khula nai hai,’ </i>he replied keeping the thirty bucks and returning me the
thousand rupee note.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh Boy Charlie! I did not see this coming. Surely he did not
expect me to tip him an extra three hundred bucks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked at him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He looked back at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked helplessly at him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He looked even more helplessly at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Surely, he was not going to do anything about it. Angered at
this unforeseen turn of events – I snatched the thousand rupee not from him and
got out in the humid-humid weather in search of a kind stranger who could give
me hazar ka chutta. All I could see within a range of 500 meters were parked cars
and some more parked cars. Right then My baby ballerinas which had not been worn in last two
years started to bite. This weather and a shoe bite on each foot – so much for
the perfect horoscope that I read aloud to myself in the morning, I rolled my eyes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little did I know that It was going to get so much better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After about twenty minutes of looking around I finally
managed to find a kind old security guard (of the same building where I was
supposed to sit for an interview) who reading my panic stricken face decided to
help. He did not have the change but gave me the money like that only saying
that I could return it once my interview was done. I thanked him with all my
heart and returned to where my cab was parked- which-not exaggerating- was almost half a
km away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I threw the money on his face and he was all set to leave when all
of a sudden something struck my mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Wait a minute,’ I shouted rather angrily, not being the one
who could be taken for a ride, 'my file is in there,'I opened the cab and took out my file.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Loser,’ I murmured, as I turned, our angry gaze meeting
each other’s.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And off he went.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was almost half an hour to one and I still had some
walking to do- besides all this running to and fro in such humidity- was making
me sweat like a overflowing water tank.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I must have been mid way towards the office when I heard
something going chap-chap-chap –chap from under my shoe. Yes, the sole had
given way and was getting dragged alongside the strap like an uninterested ‘too
cool for school’ teenager.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Quick think something – You can get out of this – May be if
I stick a chewing gum in between the sole and the base-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That ought to do the trick. The Mentos girl
in me had finally woken up. (Remember the commercial where she
oh-so-convinently takes both the heels off on one being broken)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, as someone strictly against plagiarism, I wanted to be original
– hence the chewing gum idea! Tada!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Luckily, for me I had a pack of gum sticks in my wallet- see
for a girl so troubled- not too shabby after all – so i saw no harm in saving
myself a pat for later. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But hey, wait a minute, where the fuck was my wallet?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shit! In the cab – I turned towards the cab stand right that
second- that being a “guarded” area no unauthorised vehicles were allowed to
enter. There was no sign of the cabbie. So much for my not-forgetting-the-file,
I fucking forgot my wallet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Immediately I called him on his phone. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No answer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I Called Again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No Answer again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Precious time was being lost. A little relieved that there
was not a lot of money in it anyway I decided to walk back to the interview
place. Dragging my half broken shoe, I must have taken not more than ten steps
when both my blunder of a pair of shoes broke into so many pieces that within
three seconds I was standing shoe less in impeccable formals in middle of
nowhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Holy Moly was I in a pickle now?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(It was seeming so un-fucking-believable. I mean breaking of
the sole is one thing but both the shoes going tak-tak-tak into several pieces together
at one point of time is quite another.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those of you who don’t believe me try buying a pair of shoe
from ‘shoetree’. (Yes, I am not afraid to name the brand.) And then try hiding
them for two years and then wear them on your fucking interview – You might
just be where I was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shoeless and stranded in a parking lot – because without
shoes- let’s face it you are pretty much stranded- anywhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to do something, I knew. But what? I had no clue. The
mere thought of appearing in my interview shoeless was enough to make me feel
drowsy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Good afternoon Sir, may I come in and no sir, I do not
believe in the institution of shoes.’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Urghhh..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friend T – she worked just nearby – May be I should call
her and ask if she could lend me a pair of shoes – although the sheer absurdity
of the question was making me cringe. 25 missed calls later, I finally gave up.
No, she is not picking.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Panicking I called up my mom- woke her up from her mid
afternoon nap- and narrated the entire story to her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Haan beta mai ne bhi
suna that kisi ke saath aisa hua tha,’ </i>mom parted her wisdom, ‘She was my
old friend, now she has shifted to Siligudi with her family......’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sorry mom I hung up on you that time but you didn’t quite
understand the gravity of the situation. To make matters worse it had started
to drizzle and it was so so windy. One by one the parts of the heap I once
called my shoes was all lost in the wind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next, what do I do? What do I do? People had started
staring, you know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After another five minutes of mulling over the situation – I
did the unthinkable. I called my ex’s elder brother – someone, to say the
least, I had not been in touch with for last three years I guess. And guess
what, when nothing else worked or no one else could help. Like a real brother
he rescued me in the nick of time- he came as soon as he could manage. We went
to a nearby market and I walked into a shoe shop- shoeless. The salesman mocked
me. I bought the next available pair of shoe at an exorbitant price – because usually
sellers are accused of taking advantage of a customer’s necessity but here the
customer had walked right into the trap and that too shoeless. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Quickly we returned to the scene of crime and I was relieved
to make way into the hall after paying the kind security guard his due – right on
time. So much for my “planning ahead” urghhhh – With Hair strewn apart and kohl
all smudged and feet dirtier than ISBT Delhi- I barged in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Hello, I have an interview at 1 with Mr. So and so...’ I
blurted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Sorry mam, the interview has been postponed for the 29<sup>th</sup>
of July,’ pat replied the receptionist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘What?’ I exclaimed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Yes, did you not know?’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘No. no. of course I knew. I just like a little adventure
you see.’ I wanted to say but chose not to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cursing myself I turned and walked out of the office.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(ONE THING I LEARNT TODAY – YOU CAN PLAN ALL THAT YOU WANT-
THAT TOO WAY AHEAD IN TIME – BUT ITS HIM WHO MAKES THE FINAL PLANS) Him as in God - not the cab wala.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So sometimes its okay to prepare right that second and go
with the flow (for if I had ended up wearing my same regular ballerinas none of
this would have happened I am sure.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh and on a lighter side the cab driver called me about an
hour later and returned me my wallet safe and sound. And if I really really
have to see a silver line – it was knowing that some people- no matter what-
will be there for you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Stuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08424539505746852888noreply@blogger.com3