Oh no, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about myself here. As a matter of fact, I am about 700 treadmill kilometers away from the pretty picture I just painted before your eyes.
The lady in question is one of my super hawt seniors from school, who if at all possible, has turned even more gorgeous in the last couple of years.
'Oh hi, how were you,' she exclaimed, as soon as she spotted me outside a resturant.
'I am fine. I am fine. No, I am actually great. Just got out of work to grab a quick bite.You know how it is work-work-work- gym-gym-gym-friends-friends friends. If only I had any time to spare for myself...pfff... But can't complain now.. can I? I am living the dream after all. Anyway it was nice catching up. I would have loved to stay and chat but I really got to go. You know how things work around here .. chop-chop-chop.. So okay bye haan.,, it was good seeing you.. lets catch up sometimes... bye bye now.'
ABOUT TURN...
WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Did I just crap all that in one go?
WHAT WORK?
WHAT GYM?
WHAT FRIENDS?
WHAT DREAM?
and last but not the least, WHAT CANT COMPLAIN? (all I ever do is complain..)
TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK - i was like a ticking bomb - waiting to explode and the fact that I bumped into her- simply did the trick.
End result - Me chattering like a monkey and making a complete fool of myself.
Did she buy any of it? - was a question that I did not even humor myself with. How I wished I had a rear view mirror on my person? How I wished I could see her reaction right that second? But there was no way in hell that I was going to turn back.. so even though I was supposed to go to the opposite direction - I just kept walking towards the other side- afraid that if I turned I'd catch that hint of a mockery in her eyes.
Some people, it seems, are born perfect.
Some, not so much - but they strive for perfection and are successful in doing so.
and then there are some like me, full of imperfections, full of flaws and, to make matters worse, full of dreams - always striving to attain the unattainable.
Growing up, it was easy to come face to face with failure and move on but as a grown up, man it sucks! to face rejection and then to still have the courage to try again - to realize your dream- to start from the scratch - to rise from your own ashes - it gets more and more difficult with every single failed attempt.
The strength begins to fade and despair rears its ugly head and right when you are busy shoving it back - your toned, tanned and hot senorita shows up... with a kid resting on her hip- and still looking like a million bucks.
Talk about perfect timing huh?
I am only glad I just walked in the opposite direction and not into a speeding truck lol!
There that's my silver lining!
Sometimes I dream that I have given everything up - I have a cottage in the hills - and I am pursuing nothing else but writing. You can call it sanyas - but a tad hi-tech sanyas. For, in my dream I write on my laptop only and I have a DSLR handy...
But then I am jolted back to the harsh reality that until and unless you are not first considered well established and successful by the society - you are not even eligible to become a sanyasi... I mean you could still be one but even the other sanyasis will sideline and look down upon you.
I mean you can take it for a fact that no local people would be telling your tales to one another - just because you did not first give up anything to end up as a sanyasi - now is it your fault that you had nothing to give up?
You know, to cut a long story short --- "jis saamp mein zeher nahi hota - usey zada stud nahi ban-na chahiye because usey waise bhi koi seriously nahi leta."
So I guess, what I am trying to say is that if you have decided to give up - you must first have something to give up -- or else tumhe bhi koi seriously nahi lega.
GIVING UP, is a luxury that at least, I can't afford as of now. Shall a day come that I have amassed something to give up - I shall think on those lines.. until then it's the itsy-bitsy spider for me -Trying and Trying until I succeed.
And meanwhile if you happen to bump into someone toned, tanned and hawt- there is no need to run just smile and say,
"AT LEAST I AM TRYING.'
The lady in question is one of my super hawt seniors from school, who if at all possible, has turned even more gorgeous in the last couple of years.
'Oh hi, how were you,' she exclaimed, as soon as she spotted me outside a resturant.
'I am fine. I am fine. No, I am actually great. Just got out of work to grab a quick bite.You know how it is work-work-work- gym-gym-gym-friends-friends friends. If only I had any time to spare for myself...pfff... But can't complain now.. can I? I am living the dream after all. Anyway it was nice catching up. I would have loved to stay and chat but I really got to go. You know how things work around here .. chop-chop-chop.. So okay bye haan.,, it was good seeing you.. lets catch up sometimes... bye bye now.'
ABOUT TURN...
WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Did I just crap all that in one go?
WHAT WORK?
WHAT GYM?
WHAT FRIENDS?
WHAT DREAM?
and last but not the least, WHAT CANT COMPLAIN? (all I ever do is complain..)
TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK - i was like a ticking bomb - waiting to explode and the fact that I bumped into her- simply did the trick.
End result - Me chattering like a monkey and making a complete fool of myself.
Did she buy any of it? - was a question that I did not even humor myself with. How I wished I had a rear view mirror on my person? How I wished I could see her reaction right that second? But there was no way in hell that I was going to turn back.. so even though I was supposed to go to the opposite direction - I just kept walking towards the other side- afraid that if I turned I'd catch that hint of a mockery in her eyes.
Some people, it seems, are born perfect.
Some, not so much - but they strive for perfection and are successful in doing so.
and then there are some like me, full of imperfections, full of flaws and, to make matters worse, full of dreams - always striving to attain the unattainable.
Growing up, it was easy to come face to face with failure and move on but as a grown up, man it sucks! to face rejection and then to still have the courage to try again - to realize your dream- to start from the scratch - to rise from your own ashes - it gets more and more difficult with every single failed attempt.
The strength begins to fade and despair rears its ugly head and right when you are busy shoving it back - your toned, tanned and hot senorita shows up... with a kid resting on her hip- and still looking like a million bucks.
Talk about perfect timing huh?
I am only glad I just walked in the opposite direction and not into a speeding truck lol!
There that's my silver lining!
Sometimes I dream that I have given everything up - I have a cottage in the hills - and I am pursuing nothing else but writing. You can call it sanyas - but a tad hi-tech sanyas. For, in my dream I write on my laptop only and I have a DSLR handy...
But then I am jolted back to the harsh reality that until and unless you are not first considered well established and successful by the society - you are not even eligible to become a sanyasi... I mean you could still be one but even the other sanyasis will sideline and look down upon you.
I mean you can take it for a fact that no local people would be telling your tales to one another - just because you did not first give up anything to end up as a sanyasi - now is it your fault that you had nothing to give up?
You know, to cut a long story short --- "jis saamp mein zeher nahi hota - usey zada stud nahi ban-na chahiye because usey waise bhi koi seriously nahi leta."
So I guess, what I am trying to say is that if you have decided to give up - you must first have something to give up -- or else tumhe bhi koi seriously nahi lega.
GIVING UP, is a luxury that at least, I can't afford as of now. Shall a day come that I have amassed something to give up - I shall think on those lines.. until then it's the itsy-bitsy spider for me -Trying and Trying until I succeed.
And meanwhile if you happen to bump into someone toned, tanned and hawt- there is no need to run just smile and say,
"AT LEAST I AM TRYING.'
2 comments:
Wow stutee ur blogs r awsm.....really!! I feel gr8 to meet a person like u :-) :-)
Hey thanks Anubha and you wont believe it but u r one of the few things i'd remember very very fondly from my ssb experience... love u loads.. keep visiting okay!
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