Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A letter to the clueless Boys!

Dear Boys,

Having Love trouble ? Listen Closely !

Now I do not, seriously, think of myself as some dating guru but after being on a bunch of lousy dates and having heard the lamest pick up lines ever, I feel like I owe it to myself (and the woman kind and to those poor boys who don't have a clue when it comes to those awkward first dates), to write this letter. 
So Here’s a list of DONT’S for you when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex;

1. So, you like to party? Jazzed up as it may sound, Please oh please never ever ask a girl this. I mean the whole question reeks of cheese. If you are still curious you can may be find out indirectly, but, for the love of God, do not put it out there in the form of actual words. NO, I DON'T LIKE TO PARTY.

2. Shero – shayari, Now I know that guys think that it’s romantic and everything. But I’d personally advice against it. So, before you turn into Mirza Ghalib next time, know your audience first. Coz most girls dont like it.   
3. Dont be overly familiar but at the same time don’t play totally aloof either. Coz attitude may be a turn on but too much attitude is a big turn off. so Keep it balanced.
4.  Don’t keep checking yourself out in the mirror too much. Nothing kills an evening like a sissy guy.
5. Steer clear of the following topics if its ur first date- ‘horse power’, power engines,,‘Tera bytes’, ‘mega bytes’ cc dc pc ac bcetc etc ‘. Coz she might look as though she is really interested but in her head she is playing the movie ‘P.S. I LOVE YOU’
6. DONT BABY TALK. Words like sugar, honey, sweets or anything with a tendency to cause diabetes are taboo. 
7.  Say the girl’s a doctor or a lawyer.. There is absolutely no need for you to begin the conversation like this hor fer doctor/lawyer saab?There is nothing wrong with it as such,, It's just that this is how my jolly good fufadh ji (BUA’s HUSBAND) talks to me. 
8.  Never begin a conversation with Haanji. The very word puts me to sleep.(Okay this is only a personal dislike) so you can strike this one off the list.
9.     DO not drool...If you are on a date and Angelina Jolie passes you by, do not stop for a second to check her out. Okay I am aware this is way too extreme a behaviour to expect from boys. But look at this objectively,, What are the odds that the hot girl (Angelina Jolie) will check you out right back, especially when you are already sitting with another girl. None right? So, before you let your Jaw mop the floor think about the possibility that the girl who is passing by is not even going to notice you and you might even end up losing the one you are with.

10.Don’t be a chalta firta multi branded store. You know, Gucci shoes, Prada jacket, Tomford glasses, d&g belt, Armani wallet.. All At once... is a very, i repeat, very  very bad idea. .Nothing freaks us girls more than a brand freak.

So here’s what I thought could be of a little help. This was what not to do, stay tuned for what to do. 

With Love,
that girl who spent her last date looking at her watch!


Anonymous said...

too late..i already tried the doctor one..god i am scared now..

Stutee Nag said...

Hehe well at least be glad there are 9 other blunders that u havent committed

Anonymous said...

nice tips,,, next week,,, please write about wat to do on a date...

Anonymous said...

Hey gal nice blog!
Please write one post for the clueless girls too. I always get stuck in the friend zone :|

Anonymous said...

your next date can get some awareness here..!